


Wild Rose Sorbet

by chibikaie



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-14 19:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17514557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibikaie/pseuds/chibikaie
Summary: Squall had been looking forward to life after the war. The worst was over and most of his responsibilities were now someone else's problem. He was even getting good at hiding from the Garden Festival.Then he found out that Selphie had formed a new committee - the "Get Squall a Boyfriend" committee.There was no way this wasn't going to end in disaster.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Strictly speaking, this story is a spiritual crossover of Final Fantasy VIII and Hana-Kimi (Hanazakari no Kimitachi he: For You in Full Blossom). Hana-Kimi was the source for the lighthearted mood and some of the characters' personality quirks, as well as the origin of the title.

Squall slouched lazily on the pile of blankets in their corner of the Quad and tipped his face up to the afternoon sun while Selphie and Rinoa talked. All in all, he felt relatively good. He'd just come back from a stint of mopping up Lunar Cry fallout, and there were no urgent demands on his time. Rinoa had decided months ago that she really didn't want a gay boyfriend (he'd thought this was self-evident for any girl, but then again, he'd also thought that he was bisexual), and to be honest, it was a lot easier to be a friend rather than a boyfriend. Plus, he'd managed to dodge the heavier responsibilities of Garden - Cid still had every intention of retiring permanently, but was content to prey on Xu and Quistis for potential replacements. Squall had made it clear that he would only resume the duties of Commander in the event of a real threat, and that he wasn't above leaving Garden entirely. After all, the president of Esthar would be more than happy to help him find a position; it was no secret that he was still campaigning heavily to get Squall to visit for reasons other than business.

Irvine and Selphie were both based out of Balamb Garden now, so that the entire orphanage gang except for Seifer could be reasonably expected to gather whenever they weren't on missions. Oddly enough, Zell and Selphie were considered the latest hot couple, despite their vehement protests to the contrary (upon reflection, that probably helped fuel the rumors). Squall didn't really know, and didn't particularly care either way. It took the heat off of him, and he figured that if they had anything to tell him, they'd do it entirely without his prompting.

"Hey," Rinoa said, poking him in the ribs, "don't fall asleep on us. We're having a strategy meeting here."

"You and Selphie are gossiping, you mean."

"Hey! This is an official 'Get Squall a Boyfriend' meeting, so look sharp!" Selphie said.

"Then what am I doing here, and why don't you have a satellite hookup to Laguna?"

"You're here because we'll need to inform you of your orders when we're done deciding your fate," Rinoa said, "and your _dad_ already sent us a list of suggestions."

Squall was really not certain how or why his father had ended up on Selphie's so-called committee (he did not want or need a committee devoted to finding him a boyfriend, even if he'd been forced to admit wanting one - a boyfriend, that is, not a committee). He also wasn't certain why Rinoa objected so strongly to his referring to Laguna by name. After all, she referred to her own father as "that **** person".

"Besides," Selphie said, "you haven't given us much to work with. We need more data. What kind of boy do you want us to hook you up with?"

Squall had a fleeting regret that she wasn't suggesting something simple (like her plan to blow up the Galbadian president's train car: violent but simple). "I didn't ask you to set me up with anybody."

"I told you, Selphie, that that's not going to work," Rinoa interrupted. "He doesn't know what he wants. We need to figure out what kind of boy he _needs._ I've got some ideas."

"Oooh! Gimme the list, then."

Rinoa began to tick items off on her fingers. "Number one: somebody who isn't going to mind pulling all the weight in the relationship."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I can see that," Selphie agreed. "No offense, Squall, but you really sucked as a boyfriend. The only things you did with Rinoa were the things she suggested."

"I always agreed," he protested.

"That's not the point," Rinoa said. "Look, I know you ended up getting dragged to clubs and other things that you absolutely hated, just because you wanted to please me. I had to grill Zell and Seifer for hours to find something that we'd both enjoy. By trying to be compliant, you just made it my responsibility to decide everything for you."

"... Sorry."

"Cheer up, Squall. We know that's just the way you are: You always give in unless somebody's going to actually get hurt," Selphie said. "That's why we need to get you a boyfriend! He'd look out for you."

"... Would he save me from you?"

Rinoa hit him with her empty lunch tray. "Number two: someone who likes cuddling."

"I don't cuddle!"

"You need to learn!" Rinoa shot back. "Every time you fell asleep on my lap or shoulder, Zell had to pry you off with a crowbar! You're starved for physical affection; you just refuse to admit it."

"..."

"Okay, anything else?"

"That's all I came up with. What did Laguna have to say?"

"Sir Laguna requested that we find someone who won't dump him. He doesn't take abandonment well."

"Me? Or Laguna?" He got hit with the lunch tray again. "I survived _you_ dumping me!"

"You weren't really in love with me. You just thought you should be. It doesn't count."

"..."

"He also suggested that we find someone in Esthar or willing to transfer to Esthar Garden, but I think we can take that as a joke."

"... Wait, what Esthar Garden?"

"Squall!" Selphie scolded. "You're not supposed to worry about things like that! It's Quisty's job now!"

"I should think I'm allowed to be kept in the loop!" he said. _"What_ Esthar Garden? What happened to rebuilding Trabia?"

"Actually, from what I've heard, that's part of the deal," Rinoa interjected. "Esthar offered to fund the restoration on the condition that the next Garden built would be located in or near Esthar."

"But we don't have the clientele or the resources for another - OW!"

"I told you, stop worrying about it!" Selphie said menacingly. "Your first priority right now is settling down with a nice boyfriend!"

Squall scowled and retreated. He _had_ specifically insisted that he not be burdened with the financial aspects of running Garden, seeing as he'd been on the receiving end of the last crisis. He'd never been particularly good with budgeting (during the war, he'd had the highest salary, and had defaulted to paying for everything with it - it had been the simplest solution, but he'd given up on keeping track of his money). But, he felt that that was no excuse to keep him completely in the dark about things.

"Anyway," Rinoa said, "we don't really have time to sit around talking. The party starts in four hours, and we've got a lot of shopping to do."

"Party?" He barely managed to refrain from adding, "More shopping?"

"Oooh, yeah, look at the time!" Selphie exclaimed. "I better go see how the decorators are doing. You two get going!"

"But - " Squall felt a mild panic overcome him as Selphie collected their lunch trays and bustled out of the Quad. "Rinoa, didn't you just go shopping yesterday?"

"That was for me," she said, "and this time, we're shopping for you." Pulling hard on his arm, she hauled him upright and began dragging him. He winced slightly. At the ball where they'd first met, he'd gone along because it would have caused a scene to refuse. These days, he went along because he risked dislocating a shoulder if he tried to resist (he'd found that out the painful way, and he was never going to forgive Zell for suggesting that she train with an Ifrit guardian force).

"But I don't need new clothes," he protested as they reached the front gate.

"You need to look good at the party this evening," Rinoa said. "It's not official, so you aren't going to be wearing your uniform. And even though you look fine in your regular outfit, you do wear it every day. People are used to seeing you in it. We need to make you more noticeable."

That reminded him, he still didn't know what party they'd been talking about. "What's the occasion, anyway?"

"Bugs coming up from behind!" she yelled instead of answering. Acting almost on instinct, the moment she let go of his wrist, he dropped and rolled so she'd have a clear shot.

The battle was over in a few minutes, the monsters presenting no real difficulty to either of them. While he didn't think she had called the bite bugs in explicitly to provide a distraction, he had the sinking feeling that if he tried to ask again, she'd find another way to change the subject. He was not going to be told, and with his luck, it was probably somebody's birthday that he'd forgotten. He sighed and made a mental note to pick up some chocolate candy while in town; everybody liked chocolate. If he were lucky, Rinoa wouldn't call him out on buying a last-minute, generic gift.

As he trudged along the road in Rinoa's wake, listening to her chatter about what colors might best bring out his eyes (this was a concept that entirely escaped him), he reminded himself that he was under no obligation to wear whatever she picked out after this party was over. The party would only last a few hours; if it went on longer, he'd find an excuse to duck out. It couldn't possibly be that bad.


	2. Chapter 2

Squall was pretty certain it couldn't get much worse.

He'd stonewalled Rinoa on colors, and she'd retaliated by putting him in a short-sleeved crop top and low-slung pants that were barely decent. Walking back to Garden feeling a distinct draft across his exposed midriff had raised all of his hackles to a fever pitch.

Thus already off-kilter, he'd dutifully followed Rinoa through the hallways to one of the larger dorm lounges, the one closest to his room that he studiously ignored the rest of the gang claiming as their favorite hangout. Having resigned himself to an evening of mandatory fun, he was still not at all prepared to be blasted in the face with bits of paper as soon as he cleared the door.

"Happy birthday!" Selphie led the yell.

He had no idea what expression he made in response, but he couldn't spare the brain cells to care. Toward the back, Laguna was crowing with his usual overabundance of enthusiasm, and somehow Seifer had been roped into attending. There was a cake better suited to a wedding than a birthday, next to a lopsided pile of wrapped gifts. A gaudy, glittery banner stretched along one wall. Tiny moombas made of paper were stuck at random heights everywhere. Selphie followed up the mass greeting with a honk from something that appeared to be an unholy cross between a bugle and a kazoo. It was possibly his worst nightmare.

"I think you just forced confetti down my pants," he croaked.

Irvine smirked. "Want me to help get it out, Squall?"

He made a noise that he would later deny being capable of producing, and retreated hastily. Laughter circled the room, and his friends descended on the buffet table, giving him room to breathe as they chattered good-naturedly.

Spotting Quistis serving punch, he edged closer until he could tug on her sleeve. She was just the right person to talk to, he was sure. Selphie was insane, Rinoa couldn't know any better, his father certainly had no idea, he absolutely couldn't bring this up with Ellone, and he doubted any of the boys cared beyond getting an excuse to eat and drink.

"What is it, Squall?"

His eyes darted around to check that Selphie wasn't right on top of them. "Look, it's not that I don't appreciate the effort you guys put into throwing me a birthday party." He didn't mention that he hated parties on principle and detested celebrating his birthday with an extra-violent passion.

"Yes, but?"

"But it's not actually my birthday."

Quistis blinked slowly, then put a glass of punch into his hand. "Yes, it is."

"No, it's January first."

"Squall," Quistis said, very patiently, "Balamb Garden lists January first as a default date of birth for orphans when they're registered without paperwork. Irvine noticed the discrepancy when Selphie started planning; he remembered that your birthday is in the summer. We went to Ellone, and she said that it's actually August 23rd."

"... Oh."

She patted his arm absently. "Don't worry, we'll fix it in the system later. I didn't want to give away the surprise by changing it beforehand."

"... Am I older or younger?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Am I three months older than I thought, or nine months younger?"

"You're eighteen now." Her lips quirked up in a wry smile. "Don't think about it too much. I'm trying not to, either."

He winced. If he worked out the dates - which he was absolutely not going to do, ignorance being bliss - at his SeeD graduation, he might have been sixteen. That night, she'd tried to ask him out (at least, that was what Rinoa had explained to him later, in excruciating detail). She was probably finding this at least as disturbing as he was.

Thankfully, Seifer provided an easy distraction. "Oi, birthday boy! Get over here. We're setting up that Chocobo Racing game, and I need to beat your scrawny ass at it."

He didn't think that was much of a challenge; Zell and Selphie were much more enthralled with the simplistic video game, and routinely trounced him thoroughly. He said as much, but Seifer ignored him, as usual.

Zell leaned over his shoulder as he selected a racer. "Are you seriously using Mog? Seifer's got Behemoth."

"I'm used to his steering controls."

"But we unlocked Bahamut while you were gone. Why not try him out?"

"We have Bahamut now?" Irvine asked. "Dibs! Mega Flare, here I come."

"I'm taking White Mage," Rinoa announced, picking up the fourth and final controller. "Ready?"

"No," said Squall, and Seifer immediately started the race anyway. "Have I mentioned that I hate you, lately?"

"Which racers does the computer have?" Selphie asked eagerly.

"Looks like Black Mage and Chubby Chocobo," Zell said after a few minutes. "Wow, am I glad that I'm not in this one. You guys are going to get wasted."

"That's why I have White Mage," Rinoa said smugly. "Barrier will protect me!"

"Not with Chubby around," Squall felt obligated to point out. "You might have Barrier up for the first spell, but he'll get a copy of it and hit everyone again before Barrier recharges."

Seifer gave him an evil side-eye as he charged into Squall's moogle. "Stop doing strategic analysis on a bunch of digital go-carts."

"Stop blowing me up!" Squall retorted. "You know I hate that!"

"That's the whole point!"

"Uh, guys?" Irvine ventured. "I just passed Black Mage, and he's getting ready for a triple Ultima."

There was about a minute of horrified silence as they all digested the warning, and then the television screen cheerily depicted all of their little racers getting repeatedly blown up by two rounds of triple Ultima.

"Irvine!" Rinoa scolded as a third round of explosions descended on their screens, just as they were getting control back. "I know that's you with Mega Flare! That's just not sporting."

"Sorry, doll. All's fair in love and war."

"Ha!" Seifer exclaimed, and charged into Bahamut as the dragon flew past him.

Squall groaned as he narrowly avoided skidding on a patch of ice. "Why do we play this game again?"

"Wasn't it your idea?" Selphie asked, puzzled. "I got it from your room, originally."

"I didn't buy it!" He decided to ignore the flagrant breach of privacy. There were worse things she could have done.

Quistis said, "You got a free copy as part of the licensing agreement to use your image as one of the racers, remember?"

There was another uncomfortable silence, and Squall said, "I don't remember agreeing to this."

"You gave Cid blanket permission for five years when you signed over command; Garden splits the fees with you," Quistis said with a sigh. "Did you not read the contract?"

Admittedly, he'd been a little desperate at the time. "Maybe not all the fine print," he conceded.

"If Squall has a racer, why haven't we seen him yet?" Zell demanded.

"I don't think we've unlocked all of the secret ones," Rinoa mused. "We're all so busy trying to blow each other up with the ones we have."

"Got you!" Irvine yelled as he caught up to Behemoth and torched him with a fire spell.

"Like that," she pointed out as Seifer unleashed a filthy string of swear words.

"But replaying story mode to unlock them is so boring," Selphie complained.

"Good," Squall interrupted. "I don't want to know what I look like in this demented game."

"You drive a cute little blue car," Laguna said cheerfully. "You're so adorable!"

His eyebrow twitched. "You've played this?"

"He's actually really good at it," Zell put in.

"Why am I not surprised."

Seifer howled in rage as Squall triggered a triple ice spell, incapacitating the rest of them while he snuck across the finish line. "You are such a liar! Why do you keep saying you suck at this game when you _keep winning?!"_

Squall had to smile a little as he surrendered his controller for the next round. Maybe this wasn't so terrible after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual PSX Chocobo Racing game only allows for two players, not four, and Squall is one of the first secret racers unlocked (possibly the very first). But otherwise, this isn't too far from how it actually works (especially how Black Mage and Chubby Chocobo will absolutely team up to make your racer explode).


End file.
